What on earth is a day off!

I hope i'm special. I hope i'm only one of a select few individuals who have this problem. I'd be happy if i was the only one, but that would surprise me.

Taking a day of is a complicated challenge for me. Partly, i don't know what to do with one. Sit around all day doing nothing? Boring! Watch tv? A waste of brain power and I'll probably end up stressed from all the conflicts i've witnessed on the tube. Read books? Too much like what i do the rest of the week, and not really that desirable. At least, not as desirable as work.

The problem is that i actually love work. I love my job. I love getting housework done. I love anything that has a good purpose, which all eventually ends up feeling like work because i feel so strongly that i need to get it done.

If i waste time, i don't feel relaxed, i feel like i've wasted time. If i get things done, i don't feel relaxed, i feel stressed that i didn't get more done. If i sleep, i feel stressed that the whole day is gone. Actually, most things leave me stressed. (yes i know this is a problem)

Part of the problem is that, as a youth pastor, my day off is different than my husbands. If my day off was saturday, this wouldn't be a problem. We'd head out to go hiking or sightseeing or something. Oh, wait. Most fun things require money we'd rather save. Most free things require warm weather that is in precious short supply here in Michigan. And most saturdays he doesn't really have "off" either because he has various things he needs to do that he couldn't do the rest of the week while he was at work.

So i sit here in an empty house and try to figure out what a day off is.