Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Big and Little People

Today finds me back at my alma mater for a few days of on-site classwork for my master's. It's been an emotional roller-coaster - i'm so attached to this place but it's changed so much. It's been another humility workout too - I want to say i'm the smallest youth pastor in the group but that shows how wrong i'm thinking - i'm the youth pastor with the fewest teens in my group. And despite how much it feels like it, that doesn't make me small. The thing i've been having to tell myself today is that God doesn't need a few people to do huge things, he needs a million people to do the right thing. And if my place in the grand scheme is to just do a good job with a handful of students, that doesn't make me less important and it certainly doesn't make me a failure. It's just part of me is so ingrained in the thinking that I can be somebody "big," and so if i don't become "big" then i've missed my potential and it's a huge shame. But at the same time, I don't want to settle for ministering to a few students if i could help more. I'm supposed to care about all the ones who don't know Jesus at all -right? It's just so hard to want growth for the right reasons. And to keep from playing the "i'm just as good as they are so why don't i get to do that cool thing that they get to do?" game.
I must have a lot of humility to learn - i seem to be getting this lesson often. But it's good.


Anonymous said...

It is more important to minister with integraty and faithfullness to the few God sends your way than to the masses that you would get any other way. Remember Jesus spent the most of His time pouring Himself into the 12.

Joy said...

very true - thanks.