(Sort of) free will

I don't think that most people in our culture (or our churches) really believe in true free will. I realized this morning that often I really don't either.

Right now I'm reading Teenage Guys by Steve Gerali, and currently I'm in the section on agression and violence in young guys. (By the way so far it's an excellent book.) He was using the story about Cain and Abel as a case study, and he described the way that God (sort of as the first youth worker) tried to encourage Cain to deal with his feelings of rejection a different way. Of course, Cain didn't listen, and went on to commit the first homicide. As I was reading Gerali's paraphrase, I found myself thinking something along the lines of "Wow - God didn't handle that one very well." A few moments later I realized that I was assuming that God - as the youth worker - could have talked Cain out of it by doing or saying the right things.

I realized that I usually operate under the subconscious assumption that I can fix things if i can just figure out the right actions to take, and I think our churches and our culture reinforce it often. When we hear about school shootings, we think long and hard about what could have been done to prevent that young person from choosing that action. We form plans and strategies and encourage teens and adults to look out for hurting young people, and we tell ourselves that we can make a difference if we're willing to get involved. And all of this is true and our efforts are good, but i wonder if I'm the only one who hears the unspoken message that if we can just figure out how to do it right, we could prevent all violence and eventually cure all teen isolation and depression.

Even churches that claim to believe in true human free will often express the same mindset. We preach that no one is too far gone for God to reach. We tell people to pray expecting that God will get through to the person we're concerned about. We hear about "irresistible grace" and the "hounds of heaven" that make redemption all but unavoidable for those God and the church choose to pursue. And while I technically agree with all of these things, it is extremely easy to start believing - even without realizing it - that by our prayers and our actions we are truly in control of what happens, and that if we just figured out how to do it right, we could fix all the ills in the world.

I'm not so much trying to argue that people have free will, because that's a theological debate that's not worth the effort to address well here. I really value my brothers and sisters in Christ who disagree with me on this one, and I'm not trying to pick a fight. But what's interesting to me is how easy it is for those of us who think we believe in free will to subconsciously begin to believe that we really can fix everything if we could just figure out the right actions to take. Even Reformed theology puts full control in God's hands, not ours. As much as I believe we should do everything we can, as youth workers we need to check ourselves on this one. We can't allow ourselves to believe that we can be successful with every teen and prevent every tragedy, or else we're going to spend our lives discouraged and confused when it doesn't work.

You might have really cool volunteers in your youth ministry if . . .

. . . you discover the marshmallows were put in the offering bucket by your adult leaders, in the hopes that then they wouldn't be thrown around the youth room anymore that night.

You might be in youth ministry if . . .

. . . you find marshmallows in the offering bucket.

Reflecting on snow

How cool is it, that when God gives us a different kind of precipitation for the coldest, darkest part of the year, He gives us one that reflects and distributes the little light we have left? I like the beauty of winter, but i have a hard time getting used to the cold. I'm pretty sure cold weather is part of the curse on the earth, but a couple of weeks ago i noticed something new about it. I was walking my dog before dawn and realized that it was a lot lighter outside than it usually was that time of day because of the snow. Starlight, moonlight, streetlights, and sunlight all result in a brighter landscape when snow is present. Could it really be a coincidence that winter precipitation makes the most of limited light? I guess it could be, but i doubt it. God's little mercies amaze me.

You're accepted when you're needed

Last night i watched Kid Nation for the first time. I only caught the second half of the episode, but it was pretty interesting. The kids had to work together to complete challenges, and it was a lot like survivor except there were no alliances being forged because no one was getting voted off. Instead, the climax of the show was watching the council of older kids chose one town member to honor with a real (large and solid) gold star.

Anyway, the part i wanted to blog about was a comment one kid made at the end of the episode. Apparently they're nearing the end of the experiment, and all the kids were sitting around a campfire talking about their experiences so far. One boy made the statement that "I was never accepted before i came here." I haven't seen enough of the show to know for sure, but it seems like what has happened is that the producers have created an environment of real competition (not just grading kids on their performance, but providing real rewards when they succeed and withholding them when they don't), along with real teamwork (the kids have to figure out how to work together to win the rewards), which means: every kid is needed. Which means: every kid has a chance to earn acceptance by having a good attitude and working hard to help.

I think needing someone is one of the most natural forms of acceptance we have. It's not forced, so it's not hard to show or to receive. All of us will put up with a lot more of what we don't like in a person when we need that person, because then we recognize their value. All of this makes me think that part of what we lack in churches and youth groups is that we don't need each other enough. Among adults - that's probably because we don't have big enough goals that we're trying to reach together, so we really don't find ourselves needing each other. In youth ministries (like mine) i suspect the problem is that we don't depend on our teens enough. We don't give them enough responsibility in carrying out Christ's mission, and we don't hold them accountable for their work. When we don't need them and they don't need each other, its a lot harder for us to truly accept each other, because we don't appreciate each other's value.

Teens can be unreliable, but they can tell where they're needed and where they aren't - and the people who need them get their greatest commitment and effort. Not to mention, isn't part of discipleship helping people to understand that they are needed in God's kingdom, and that we all (including God) are depending on them to help with its work?

P.S. There's an excellent article about trusting God and how it relates to trusting our teenagers in this month's e-newsletter from NNYM.